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Experts offer direction, motivation to those feeling lost or 'stuck' Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje/EXPRESS-NEWS STAFF WRITER Rick Thomas was stuck. He wasn’t really happy with his job, or where he lived. But he couldn’t figure out a way to get unstuck. So he reached for a solution that more and more people are seeking out these days to bring order, direction and motivation into their lives. He hired a coach. No, not the athletic kind - a professional life coach, a person who acts as equal parts motivator, morale-booster, confidante and sounding board. ‘It’s someone to try ideas out on,” says Thomas, who in the process of being coached made the switch from working in marketing and sales at IBM to becoming a financial advisor for Merrill Lynch. “Where a friend might tell you you’re nuts, a coach helps you work it through. And they also hold you accountable about getting things done.” Life coaching is a one-on-one relationship for people who feel like something is missing in their lives but they’re not quite sure what it is. It’s a rapidly growing profession that is tailor-made for hectic times. ‘We work with people who have a gap between where they are and where they want to be,” says Michele Henkle Ireland, (Michele@SuccessWorks.com) a coach who works with everyone from small business owners to CEOs. “It’s really the client’s agenda. I’m not biased. I ask them, ‘What would your ideal day be like, and what’s stopping you from getting there? Life coaches do a great deal of assessing. What are your core values? Your personality type? Your gifts? Your strengths? Your challenges? During weekly sessions, often conducted over the telephone, the coach helps the client decide on a plan of action and then makes requests for concrete steps that should get done before the next session. Irelan, who spent 30 years in the corporate world and was a vice president for La Quinta, says the wonderful thing about the coaching-client relationship is that the latter gets to be true and authentic. 1 give them permission to be themselves,” says Irelan, whose clients tend to be ages 45 to 60, although she says all ages can benefit from coaching. “They don’t have to wear a mask.” The goals that people bring to the coaching experience vary widely. Kimberly Smith-Martinez, (drkimlifecoach.com) a clinical psychologist who now also does coaching, says one of her clients was a widow whose children were getting ready to leave for college. She worried about what her life would be like when they left, so we worked together to help increase her social life,” says Smith-Martinez, who also works at the Child Guidance Center. “Whether or not that was going to be dating or just getting comfortable with new approaches, she would report back to me each week.” Smith-Martinez says coaching provides that extra push and accountability so that folks can stick to their New Year’s resolutions, instead of sliding back into old patterns after three or four weeks. Jayne L. Garrett, (jaynegarrett.com) a coach who, like many, typically asks for a six month commitment from clients, takes a “holistic” approach that focuses on the entire person - not just their professional life but their personal and spiritual aspects as well. She speaks of effecting “shifts” in her clients - deep-seated new awareness that keeps clients on the path toward their goals. While any individual can benefit from coaching, she says, the art is particularly suited for higher level executives, who often find themselves at a loss for a true, confidential ear. ‘When you’re surrounded by people who depend on you for their livelihood, sometimes they’ll say what you want to hear instead of what is the truth,” says Garrett. “I’m always truthful, but it comes from the heart.” Some caveats: It’s important that the coach you choose be certified through a legitimate coaching school. Smith-Martinez says some people merely hang out a shingle and call themselves a coach. Better to check with the San Antonio Professional Coaches Association (sapca.org) to make sure the person you’re choosing is the real deal. Coaching is about “accelerated” change, adds Barbara A. F. Greene (barbara.greene@greeneandassociates.com), a master certified coach who has more than 20 years of experience and often is hired by companies to work with employees, particularly organizations going through transition periods. She focuses on enhancing a client’s “emotional intelligence” - things like listening skills, communication and relationship-building skills that can be crucial to success not just in the workplace but in all of life, she says. Greene likens people who seek out coaches to Olympic athletes who still require coaching even though they’re in top form. ‘They’re all great or else they wouldn’t have gotten to where they are,” she says. ‘But we all have a tendency to develop blind spots in our lives. If you could open up a window you could see a little more clearly and be better than you ever thought you could be. Eighty percent of the time we underestimate 80 percent of our abilities. And that’s on a good day.” All the experts interviewed for this story stressed that coaching is not therapy. As Irelan put it, “therapy takes people from the dysfunctional to the functional; coaching takes people from the functional to the exceptional.” Trained coaches know how to spot problems like depression in potential clients, whom they then refer to counselors, although some will do tandem coaching with a client in therapy. Coaching isn’t cheap. While coaching fees vary, John Lovitt (johniovitt-com), a life coach, licensed professional counselor and author says his price typically ranges from $200 to $600 a month. (In coaching, sessions usually take place three or four times a month for 30 to 45 minutes.) For this, clients get in-depth personality assessment and instructions in what Lovift calls the seven critical communication skills. A big part of his work also involves focusing on a client’s self-esteem. He’s helped everyone from a client going through bitter divorce to a “double introvert” middle school teacher who desperately needed to make a job change. `The clients really already have the answers,” he says. “We just facilitate them in finding the answers.” |
