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by Jeanie Tavitas-Williams/EXPRESS-NEWS STAFF WRITER Five-year-old Russell Allen insists on taking Bubba everywhere he goes: to the doctor, to school, on camping trips, even to the beach. Once a soft stuffed bunny with perky ears and cream-colored fur, Bubba’s tiny body is now held together by a patchwork of old socks. His left leg has gone missing and his left ear is barely hanging on. Still, in Russell’s eyes, Bubba’s just perfect. Most of us have had one. Maybe yours was a blanket or teddy bear. Or, perhaps it was something more unusual, like a sliver of fabric from mom’s favorite nightgown, a crocheted coverlet handmade by grandma, or a remnant of dad’s comfy cotton Tshirt. Whatever the object, this tangible source of solace was always at the ready in times of stress, loneliness or longing. For some of us, it still is. Known in the scientific community as a “transitional object” — and among children as “woobie,” “blankie” or “lovey,” among other monikers — a security object can offer a child much-needed comfort in the absence of mom or dad. “Having a transitional object is an important step for a child because it represents the parent and the security that a child feels with the parent,” says child psychologist Kimberly Smith-Martinez, who works at the Child Guidance Center of San Antonio. `(The object) allows them to take a little part of mommy or daddy with them wherever they go.” At 46, Smith-Martinez has a personal appreciation for the value of security objects. She still owns “Willy,” a dog with a nose that honked when squeezed. ‘I shared him with my daughter when she was old enough to respect him,” she says, explaining that Willy is very fragile. “It’s hard to believe he was a dog at one time. He’s missing one ear and both of his eyes.” Smith-Martinez isn’t the only member of her family inordinately attached to a woobie. Her stepdaughter, now in her late 20s, took her security blanket with her to college, .1not to use it, but she tucked it under her pillow.” Not all children latch on to a security object. Some neither need nor want them. Others move from object to object or employ several, she says. Such is the case for Russell, who, in addition to Bubba, totes around another bunny, aptly named Bunny. Slightly larger than Bubba, Bunny also has seen better days. “Bunny leaves the house a little more now because Bubba is more valuable,” says Russell’s mother, Jennifer Allen. “If he loses Bunny, he at least knows that Bubba is waiting for him at home.” Security objects are often chosen for their feel, and are usually fuzzy, furry or silky. “For babies and toddlers, developmentally the most important sense is touch,” says Karl Koch, also a psychologist at the Child Guidance Center. His children still snuggle with their “babas,” the pajamas their mother wore while nursing them. “‘Transitional objects help move children towards autonomy,” he says. These objects help them “move away from the parent, but still have a safety base to give them comfort at night, or when they’re sad, lonely or hurt.” Russell Allen has slept with Bubba since he was about 9 months old. “He likes to hold (Bubba) up to his nose and scratch his fur,” says Allen. As soon as Russell scratches a new hole in Bubba’s fur, he rushes the bunny to mom, who has to “drop everything and mend him.” And, due to his fragile condition, special care must be taken when it’s time to wash Bubba: Russell insists that he be the one to put him in the washer and dryer. Though parents may find the smell or appearance of a security object disagreeable, that’s partly what the child finds so comforting, experts say. “Kids don’t want them washed because it will remove certain smells from the object,” says Dr. Margaret Neiheisel, who has seen many woobies come through her Medical Center office, including a pair of silky running shorts. “Smell is really associated with emotions.” As a child gets older, parents often have to set limits on security objects, since they can’t be brought into some day-care centers and schools. But reassuring the child that their woobie will be in the car when they return helps, experts say. Janna Smith’s two children, 3-year-old Will and 6-year-old Kamerin, both have security objects. Since birth, Will has snuggled with Teddy (now Theodore), a pale yellow blanket with a teddy bear head, and Kamerin is lovingly attached to Starsky, her stuffed puppy who travels everywhere with her except to kindergarten. “She understands that unless it’s show-and-tell day at school, Starsky has to wait in the car,” says Smith. Mom also enjoys listening to her daughter communicate with her surrogate friend. Indeed, talking with a security object demonstrates a child’s ability to share thoughts, fears or concerns with someone else, says Smith-Martinez. “They see this object as a reflection of themselves and their life,” she says. “When they say their object is scared, they might actually be talking about their own fears.” Speaking of fear, losing a child’s precious lovey can be a parent’s worst nightmare. Just ask Sherry Mathews. Her 4-year-old son Julian’s stuffed dog, Mahana, was inadvertently lost last summer. “He had (that dog) since he was 8 months old and it went everywhere with us, on countless trips to New Mexico, North Carolina, California, Hawaii, and even Honduras.” Yet somehow, Mahana was left behind at a Laundromat one hot afternoon last August. Together they searched every nook and cranny of the place, even the trash cans. “I looked all over, but I couldn’t find ‘Nana’,” says Julian. The search was called off at dark. At Julian’s insistence, Mathews put up a sign complete with photo requesting the safe return of Mahana. A regular customer returned the dog to the Laundromat manager two weeks later, but not before the account of the missing pooch traveled all over First Presbyterian Church Children’s Center, where Julian attends day care. Then earlier this year, Nana was “accidentally” left behind at a “ranch,” never to be found again. ‘Julian was an avid thumb-sucker and I needed to try to curb his thumb-sucking for orthodontia reasons,” says Mathews. Happily, since Mahana has been out of the picture, Julian has stopped sucking his thumb, she says. Although some parents worry that children will hang on to a security object too long, most experts maintain that children will let their woobies go when they’re ready. Rather than simply trying to take the object away, Smith-Martinez suggests offering an age-appropriate substitute. ‘My daughter wasn’t allowed to bring hers to preschool, so I bought her a locket and put a picture of us inside so she could open it up during the day to look at it,” she says. “All kids will separate from their object, but it’s great for them to make the decision to drop it and make that secure leap into the next developmental stage.” Woobie do’s and don’ts To keep the peace and avoid committing a woobie faux pas, child psychologist Kimberly Smith-Martinez suggests the following:
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