Claudia Zapata: You'll lose if you just must stay connected

Web Posted: 05/06/2007 01:36 PM CDT
San Antonio Express-News

File this under I've seen it all/Is nothing sacred?: Cell phones in yoga class.
And not just in the yoga studio, mind you, but actually perched on the front corner of a yoga mat.

What's next? Text messaging in church?

Perhaps I should be minding my own breathing, but this happens on a regular basis, and it's hard not to get distracted by the kind of thing we're supposed to be escaping. While I've heard a cell phone ring during yoga only a few times (and, yes, answered), its presence alone is disconcerting.

In some form or another, we all do it. We let our Blackberrys creep onto the breakfast table, take phone calls during our kids' soccer games, even send text messages while driving.

But being "connected" 24/7 means being disconnected from everything else — our families and friends, our surroundings and especially our own bodies and minds. We go through the motions, yes, but we are never fully present.

Physicians on call aside, making a permanent spot for a cell phone on a yoga mat, for instance, is a conscious choice that says "I'm unable or unwilling to disengage, to allow myself the space to let go and put myself first, even for an hour," says life coach and licensed psychologist Kimberly Smith-Martinez.

As Smith-Martinez explains it, we tend to live in emergency-preparedness mode, ready to put out life's little fires. "But the fires will always be there, and there's never going to be enough water to put everything out," she says.

Plus, self-care is important, even during emergencies. Think of the breathing masks on airplanes, designed to drop in the case of a loss of cabin pressure, Smith-Martinez says. "If you don't put the mask on yourself first, you're no good to your children or others."

So how do we set boundaries and protect what we truly value, including our health and our relationships? "Planning" says Smith-Martinez. "It's all about conscious decisions." Decide what is really important, and then schedule it in. She advises clients to have family meetings on Sundays to plan for the week.

For example, if you cherish your relationship with your child, schedule quality time together. Even if some days all you have is 10 minutes in the car together, honor and cherish those 10 minutes. Read: no cell phone.

And if couple time is scarce, plan a date night at least once a month, Smith-Martinez says. "Don't let it get bumped by something else.

Leave nothing to chance, or chances are it's not going to turn out the way you wanted it to.

On another note, but almost as strange as cell phones in a yoga class — how about the union between diet sodas and vitamins? Recently spotted at my pharmacy: Diet Coke Plus, a "sparkling beverage" spiked with niacin, vitamins B-12 and B-6, zinc and magnesium.

Granted, compared to a regular Coke, it is a better choice, but better is relative, and the fact that it has a few vitamins doesn't make it "good for you." Meanwhile, if you're counting on Diet Coke to fill in nutritional gaps, you may want to re-evaluate your diet.